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Jack Shitama

I show faith-based and nonprofit leaders how to be a non-anxious presence, personally and professionally.

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Two for Tuesday - Disagreement Without Drama

Hi Reader, Happy Spring! This week's post will help you lead even when opinions differ. I believe we need this now, more than ever. Get Your FREE Family Systems Coach Learn more Disagreement Without Drama: How Curiosity Creates Healthy Emotional Space Photo: Bratovanov Read on the Blog Most disagreements don’t go sideways because of the content. They go sideways because of the intensity, that is emotional process. The moment we feel ourselves diverging from someone else’s view, anxiety rushes...

Hi Reader,Happy St. Patrick's Day! My day job has kept me busy all week, so no blog post today. Don't forget to check out the Non-Anxious Life Free AI family systems coach. It will help you navigate whatever anxious situations you are facing. Become a Patron You can help me improve the quality and reach of this newsletter, my podcast and other resources for as little as $5/month. When you do, you'll get exclusive access to an online community, exclusive content and chat access to get your...

Hi Reader,Yesterday, I released a FREE AI Family Systems Coach that we've been working on since last summer. It uses my blog posts, podcast transcripts and books as the knowledge base. You can ask if to coach you or give you direct answers when you are facing an anxious situation. Thus far, I'm thrilled with the results. CLICK HERE to get all the details and access the free coach. This week's edition is focused on how to do your most important work. Thanks for reading. Results Matter (But Not...

Hi Reader, This week's post covers steps 6-10 for how to call people forward. Thanks for reading. Calling People Forward: A Family Systems Approach to Resistance (Part 2 of 2) Photo: AntonioGuillem_1 Read on the Blog If you haven’t done so, I encourage you to read Part 1 of this post first. Both parts are based on the article, Calling People Forward Instead of Out: Ten Essential Steps, Justin Michael Williams and Shelly Tygielski Once you’ve done the internal work in Steps 1-4, you’re ready...

Hi Reader, I have a big announcement coming up in a few weeks. It's for a free tool that will help you apply family systems theory so you can grow as a non-anxious presence. Stay tuned. This week's post is Part 1 of an approach to leading change through resistance that I've found really helpful. I hope you do, too. Thanks for reading. Calling People Forward: A Family Systems Approach to Resistance (Part 1 of 2) Photo: AntonioGuillem_1 Read on the Blog Every leader eventually runs into...

Hi Reader, Greetings less anxious one. This week's post is a reminder that self-differentiation is not an easy path, but it's a path worth taking. Self-Differentiation and the Courage to Be a Yourself Photo: yom98 Read on the Blog "Being assertive means being able to have your needs met while still interacting with great sensitivity to those around you. + It means valuing yourself—valuing your own life, your own goals, your own precious time here on this earth—while at the same time valuing...

Hi Reader, I'm coming off of a week of vacation, so there's no post this week, just recommendations. Thanks! Become a Patron You can help me improve the quality and reach of this newsletter, my podcast and other resources for as little as $5/month. When you do, you'll get exclusive access to an online community, exclusive content and chat access to get your questions answered. Thanks for your prayerful consideration. Learn more Recommendations This week's recommendations are pure family...

Hi Reader, It's the last Tuesday in January (already). This week's post is a masterclass in paradox and playfulness. I hope you find it helpful. Thanks for reading. Paradox and Playfulness Can Help in Sticky Situations Photo: Peteer Read on the Blog Kat Cole faced a dilemma in her job as a Hooters server. Every week a young man came in with his buddies and ordered a plate of 50 wings. When it was time for the check, he complained that they only received 40 and demanded a discount. This...

Hi Reader, This week's post is a reminder that it's OK to give in. Just make sure to own that choice. Letting Go of the Need to Be Right Photo: depositphotos Read on the Blog We never lock our doors. At least we didn’t used to. But when my (now 102-year-old) mother came to live with us six years ago, thing changed. She worried about “robbers” coming in and attacking her. She would say, “I’m the first one they will get to when they come in.“ I tried being paradoxical and playful with her. I...

Hi Reader, This week's post shares a core element of leading as a non-anxious presence. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. A Non-Anxious Leader Is a Lightning Rod (Not a Drain Trap) Photo: Foto-Ruhrgebiet Read on the Blog It’s good to be a lightning rod.* It’s better than being a drain trap. If you’ve ever looked under your sink, you’ve seen a drain trap (also known as a p-trap). The u-shaped bend in the trap holds enough water to create a seal that prevents sewer gases from...