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Jack Shitama

I show faith-based leaders how to be a non-anxious presence, personally and professionally.

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Two for Tuesday - Be Careful How You Define Yourself

Hi Reader,I'm back! This week's post is a reminder that self-differentiation is not about what we do but whether we are clear about what we believe. Also, I was interviewed recently for The Church Renewal Podcast. It ended up being a two-part episode. The first segment, Leading with Courage, dropped last week. Part 2, Leading Through the Anxiety, drops this Thursday, October 16. Let me know what you think. Thanks! Be Careful How You Define Yourself Photo: erik3804 Read on the Blog “Now, with...

Hi Reader,I'm still on vacation and really enjoying the break. I'll be back next week with a blog post, but for this week it's recommendations only (again). Thanks! Become a Patron You can help me improve the quality and reach of this newsletter, my podcast and other resources for as little as $5/month. When you do, you'll get exclusive access to an online community, exclusive content and chat access to get your questions answered. Thanks for your prayerful consideration. Learn more...

Hi Reader,I've had a heavy travel schedule the last few days, so no post this week, just recommendations. Thanks for understanding. Become a Patron You can help me improve the quality and reach of this newsletter, my podcast and other resources for as little as $5/month. When you do, you'll get exclusive access to an online community, exclusive content and chat access to get your questions answered. Thanks for your prayerful consideration. Learn more Recommendations This week's...

Hi Reader,This week I dug up a post that is a reminder that it's about the journey and not the destination. I hope you find it helpful. Thanks for reading. Are We There, Yet? Photo: travnikovstudio Read on the Blog It’s cliché, but I was one of those kids who asked that question on a long car trip. As I got older, I realized the best way to shorten a trip was to sleep. It was like magic. Go to sleep in one place and be magically transported to another when you awake. Either way, arriving made...

Hi Reader, This week's post addresses the increasing uncertaintly and anxiety in our world. Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading. 4 Ways to Focus on What You Can Control, Not What You Can't Photo: enterlinedesign On January 31, 1988, my favorite football team got off to a miserable start in Super Bowl XXII. By the second quarter they were down 10-0. I figured I needed to change their luck, so I put a kitchen chair at the back of my in-laws’ great room and stood on it. It worked. My...

Hi Reader,This week's post comes in response to a reader question (Thanks, Matt!). I hope you find it helpful. The Problem with Being Right (Revisited) Photo by Robert Kneschke AdobeStock My colleague, Matt, responded to the original post with these questions: How does a self-differentiated parent lead their family? They can’t always let kids, teenagers walk their own path. They need love, guidance and at times a firm voice. This can be perceived as “Mom/Dad’s always got to be right.” Is this...

Hi Reader,Happy September! We spent nearly the entire month of August with our various grandchildren. This week's post is an update I wrote five years ago. I hope you find it helpful. Intergenerational Transmission Isn't Always Dysfunctional Read on the Blog We tend to think of intergenerational transmission as dysfunctional. Patterns of conflict, addiction and abuse are just a few of the dysfunctions that get passed from generation to generation. But positive patterns get transmitted, as...

Hi Reader,A quick reminder: we are one week away from my next online workshop, Understanding Family Process. You can get more details and register below. In this week's post, I confess about one of my strengths/weaknesses. I hope you find it helpful. It All Starts with Values Photo: Olivier-Le-Moal Read on the Blog I’m a productivity geek. I’m all about making the most of my time using routines to stay focused on what’s most important. Of course, that’s subjective. For me, spiritual...

Hi Reader,This week's post highlights some key self-differentiation concepts. I hope you find it helpful. The Problem with Being Right Photo: Pixelvario I like to be right, even to the point of arrogance. I’m not proud of it. I’m working on it. But without self-awareness and intentionality it’s my default mode. I like to be right. One legendary story in our family says it all. Some time ago a friend of our teenage son came to live with us. He didn’t have many options, and we thought it was...

Hi Reader,Happy Tuesday! I'm visiting a new grandchild, so I dug up a blog post I wrote nearly five years ago. To me, it's message is needed even more now than when I wrote it. Let me know what you think. Thanks! Self-Differentiation on the Supreme Court Photo: yayimages Read on the Blog Their political views couldn’t have been further apart. But they shared a love of opera, the law and their country. Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Antonin Scalia met when they were on the U.S. Court of Appeals in...