Hi Reader,Happy Tuesday! This week's post is a reminder that families don't have to remain stuck forever. I hope you find it helpful. Life’s Important Moments Open Opportunities for Change Photo: iStock Photos Read on the Blog A friend and colleague once shared that he had been estranged from his brother for nearly two decades. They had been very close growing up. He doesn’t know what precipitated the cut off. As he said, “I must have done something to offend him.” Then their stepfather and...
7 days ago • 5 min read
Hi Reader,This week's post is my take on some of President Donald Trump's recent actions. It's not political. It's applying a family systems lens to his leadership style. Also, I've had to postpone the next Pod of Positive Intelligence due to scheduling issues. You can see the new dates below. Thanks! Should You Love Your Enemies or Punish Them? Photo: eric1513 Read on the Blog In his book, David and Goliath, Malcolm Gladwell notes how British oppression in Northern Ireland backfired. He...
14 days ago • 4 min read
Hi Reader,This week's post is on creativity. Also, scroll down to check my latest podcast episode, which unpacks Martha Beck's concept of the Anxiety Spiral vs. Creativity Spiral from a family systems perspective. I hope you find it helpful. Creativity: Are You a Seeker or a Finder? Photo: kbuntu Read on the Blog I was introduced to this concept in a Freakonomics podcast series on creativity. It was a small part of the overall broadcast, but it stuck with me. David Galenson is an economics...
21 days ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader,I hope this Tuesday finds you well. This week's post unpacks the meaning of a non-anxious presence. I hope you find it helpful. Also, registration is now open for my May 6 workshop, The Idea of Family (see below for more details). The Power of Presence Photo by Robert Kneschke AdobeStock Read on the Blog When we think about trying to change things for the better, whether in our family, congregation or organization, we often think about strategy and tactics. Where should we head? How...
28 days ago • 4 min read
Hi Reader,Happy Tuesday! This week I've added a new section, "Upcoming Offerings," to this newsletter (scroll down to check it out). That way you can know when I'm offering workshops and group coaching opportunities without having to wait for me to send out a separate email. I hope you find it helpful. Tight vs. Loose: Navigating Surrounding Togetherness Pressure While Staying True to Yourself Photo: yayimages Read on the Blog All cultures have social norms. Whether it’s a family,...
about 1 month ago • 4 min read
Hi Reader,This week's post comes from a few years ago, but it remains as important as ever. Thanks for reading! The Importance of Connection Photo: Read on the Blog I write a lot about self-differentiation. That may make it seem that it’s all about self. But there are two components to self-differentiation. One is self-definition, which is the ability to express what you believe in healthy ways. The other is emotional connection. Self-differentiation is the ability to self-define while...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader,This week's post shows that high achievers are not immune to "comparisonitis." Perhaps that's what drives their achievement in the first place, but it's not a healthy way to live. Let me know what you think. How Do You Define Yourself? Photo: iLixe48 Read on the Blog Two of my favorite authors are Adam Grant and Simon Sinek. I have recommended their books on my Two for Tuesday emails. I find them insightful, innovative and compelling. I believe their work has made me a better...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader,This week's newsletter is full of family systems material. I hope you find it helpful. Thanks for reading. Four Permissions to Give Yourself (and Others) Photo: make Read on the Blog I once ran a leadership program led by Bill Selby, founder of the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies. At the beginning he counseled participants to give themselves four permissions. They are great guidelines for how to handle yourself, as well as treat others. Permission to say “No” This...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader,This week I share my thoughts on the political mess that we find our world in. Let me know what you think. The Need for Non-Anxious Leaders Is Greater than Ever Photo: iStock Photos Read on the Blog The recent blow up in the Oval Office between Donald Trump and Volodymyr Zelensky got me thinking. Effective leaders say what they believe, while giving others the freedom to disagree. This is needed now, more than ever. This is certainly true in political discourse. What was once a...
2 months ago • 2 min read